Beowulf is Wrestling w/ Summer Santos Webber

[00:00:01] Speaker A: I'd really like to start this off with a little bit of a bang, [00:00:04] Speaker B: a little bit of a pop. [00:00:07] Speaker A: Ella, how familiar are you with the Assassin's Creed games? [00:00:12] Speaker C: I played the entire Ezio trilogy, and he is my homeboy, like the youth pastors wanted Jesus to be. I love him so much. [00:00:28] Speaker A: Familiar with the. [00:00:30] Speaker C: The. [00:00:30] Speaker A: The. The. The magic cards that they made for Assassin's Creed. [00:00:34] Speaker C: You have showed me a few of them and made my heart a flutter. [00:00:40] Speaker A: Yeah, well, this one's going to put probably a different feeling in your heart. When I first came across this card, I did a double take. [00:00:48] Speaker C: All right, are we. Are we. Are we doing the flashbang? Here we go. [00:00:51] Speaker B: Yeah, we are right now, dog. It's Jacob Frey. No, no. Mayor Jacob. [00:00:58] Speaker C: No, no, no, no. Kill it with fire. Burn the card. Burn it. The cardboard cannot be. Please describe and read this abomination for the listeners, because I can't. [00:01:15] Speaker A: I. Jacob Frey, he's a legendary assassin. [00:01:20] Speaker C: Yeah, he is. Oh, he's got so much blood on his hands. [00:01:25] Speaker A: So for the listeners just tuning in, Ella is from Minneapolis, and I am spiritually from Minneapolis, and we hate Mayor Jacob Frey. And while this card is spelled slightly differently, it is close goddamn enough that I do not care. [00:01:39] Speaker C: I wanted to come out. [00:01:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:01:43] Speaker A: And he does some shit with the graveyard because you know what? He is always digging through the dirt and people's lives up this. [00:01:51] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. There's nothing he loves more than destroying people's lives. He. He cannot come if he has not ruined someone's life. It's. It's terrible. [00:02:02] Speaker A: Would it. Would it help you, though, if you. If you learned that his card's worth less than a dollar? [00:02:07] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. No, he's worth less than cardboard. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he's, in fact, worthless. Fantastic. Well, I mean, what. What does this Jacob Fry do? [00:02:22] Speaker A: I don't care. Something. He makes assassins. He cares about free running. It's a terrible card. I don't. He's partnered with Eevee Fry, who makes you. She makes you loot. I guess to draw a discard, that just sounds boring like that. If. If I'm doing. In Demir. This is. She's a one and a blue, for the record. And Jacob Furry is a black card because, of course, there is no color in that man's heart or soul. He is just a vacant void. I did not intend to be coming so hard for this man right now, [00:03:00] Speaker B: but, like, I. Caramba, none of us do. [00:03:04] Speaker C: He. [00:03:04] Speaker B: It's. [00:03:05] Speaker C: He's. He's. It's. It's like all I can think of is like when someone mentions him, his name, it's like. This is a good segue from last week because last week was politics is wrestling. [00:03:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:19] Speaker C: When someone mentions his name, it's like when someone brings up Kissinger or Cambodia. [00:03:25] Speaker A: Oh my God. Yeah. [00:03:27] Speaker C: And I'm just like, yeah. You know, if you spent any times bringing food to people who are hungry, you, you, you [00:03:38] Speaker A: will. [00:03:39] Speaker C: There's no hell hot enough. [00:03:42] Speaker A: No, there God damn is not. [00:03:45] Speaker C: I do have to ask though, because you know that we have a guest who's like being so good right now. You're doing so good. What the fuck does this have to do with the topic? You kind of got me. You just. [00:03:59] Speaker A: You make. [00:04:00] Speaker C: You've made me have hate in my heart and I have hate in my heart for something that brings absolute destruction to my community. Just blindly kills people. [00:04:11] Speaker A: Beowulf kills. [00:04:14] Speaker C: You see what I was getting at? You see what I was getting at? We were both getting there. Hit the button with a large sword. How do I do this again? I never know. Welcome back to Everything is Wrestling. Yes. That's how I intro the other show. It's the only way I know how to do this. It is I Ella Taylor. What with the. She's in the hers. And we are back to talk about my theory of everything that would not exist without the transitive property. And yes, I am going to put that emphasis on that's allowable and I don't care. So I am here with my wonderful, wonderful co host whomst I love dearly. Say hi Bugs. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Hi Bugs. [00:05:16] Speaker C: I love when they do that. And we have an awesome guest if you are going by handles on Blue sky which you should a doctor and and and also T.S. eliot. But no, our guest is here to basically info dump at us about cool things. You know the show Summer. Hello, Summer. Welcome. [00:05:44] Speaker A: Hi. [00:05:45] Speaker B: This is so fun. I have been wanting to be on a podcast with you since I first saw a ski about Monday night, about Wednesday night fake fights, so. [00:05:54] Speaker C: Oh well, thank you. [00:05:57] Speaker B: I love wrestling. Can you tell? It's a good show. Look at, look at, look at this. Look at this. This is a turnbuckle pad. [00:06:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:06] Speaker B: So we got 1,019 women's wrestling event co hosted by Rise Smash, Femme Fatale and Shimmer. And then another one, a turnbuckle pad from the very last Shimmer show ever. Both of which heavily autographed by wrestlers from each show. And then big gold. You got big gold by the signed by the greatest World Heavyweight champion in WCW history. [00:06:37] Speaker C: Oh Please. [00:06:37] Speaker B: The man, the myth, the legend. David, our cat. [00:06:40] Speaker C: Yes, you. [00:06:45] Speaker B: I have been. I have been a fan of graps since the womb. [00:06:53] Speaker A: That kicks ass. [00:06:54] Speaker C: I am so. Oh my God. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Oh. [00:07:01] Speaker C: Oh. We need to get David Arquette on those on the ground. [00:07:03] Speaker B: You believe the whole way through that. I was going to say David Arquette at the end. [00:07:07] Speaker C: Yes. [00:07:08] Speaker B: I didn't. [00:07:09] Speaker C: Why didn't believe it. But it's what I wanted. There was also an absolute shot. It was going to be Paul White and I would have been happy with either. Oh, wow. Thank you for that summer you. That was. That you've made. [00:07:23] Speaker B: This is hell. Yeah. There's a reason I've been wanting to be on one of your shows for a while and I am so glad that I had the good fortune of a very strange evening hanging out with bugs that led to any other kind. [00:07:39] Speaker A: There really. There really isn't. Like that's. [00:07:42] Speaker B: I mean, look. [00:07:43] Speaker A: But for me it was Tuesday. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Not really that. Yeah. I mean, if we're real. Not really that strange. [00:07:49] Speaker A: Strange. [00:07:49] Speaker B: You are not the first woman to snort estrogen off me. [00:07:55] Speaker A: Look, I hadn't done my shot for the week. Yeah, it's. [00:07:58] Speaker C: You were just doing a public service. Really. [00:08:00] Speaker B: I just did. I just did both my testosterone and estrogen, like not 10 minutes before we started recording. [00:08:09] Speaker C: That's fantastic. I didn't. Did I? No, I didn't do my shot on. On Wednesday night fake fights this week. I did it we. The week before. But yeah, no. So we're good. [00:08:21] Speaker B: We're a bunch of who want to talk graps and Beowulf. [00:08:25] Speaker C: I was gonna say this is strange evening led to the conversation of Beowulf being grabs and I got the message. It was Beowulf grabs. I was better. Yeah, you better believe it. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Like sight unseen. Yes, but go on. [00:08:40] Speaker C: But yeah, but also. Go on and I'll do some research. But yeah, like absolutely. Very little. I promise. Promise. [00:08:48] Speaker A: Actually, I'll hold on. Sorry. So my only experience with Beowulf is knowing that there was the terrible animated adaptation by Robert Zemeckis. [00:09:03] Speaker C: God. I fell asleep in the theater and [00:09:06] Speaker A: that until earlier today, I was convinced [00:09:09] Speaker B: that there was a huge snake in it. [00:09:11] Speaker A: I don't know why. [00:09:15] Speaker C: Because Angelina Jolie had a snake body, I'm pretty sure. [00:09:20] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean like massive, like actual serpent. [00:09:26] Speaker A: Like, like a big fuck ass snake. So I've learned. So my only experience is that and kind of reading the Wikipedia earlier, which I do have a couple of poll quotes before we get into It. Just. Because I don't know who's editing Wikipedia right now, but I. There. There's a couple sentences that I'm just like, hold on, girl. What? [00:09:51] Speaker B: I'll see if I can help. [00:09:53] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're not gonna. Okay, so one of them. This is what brought me to this little segue earlier, about two and a half hours ago. Scholars have debated whether Beowulf was transmitted orally, affecting its interpretation. I'm sorry, you can't say transmitted orally. [00:10:12] Speaker C: You can't work that. You can't word that anymore. [00:10:15] Speaker A: Can we use any other word than transmitted orally? [00:10:19] Speaker B: It was a viral success. [00:10:21] Speaker A: Yeah. Ask your doctor if Beowulf is right for you. [00:10:25] Speaker C: That's like, when there's any sort of projectile involved in something, it's like if that motherfucker uses ejaculated. It's like, you don't. You didn't have to do that. Yes, you're technically correct. The best. [00:10:37] Speaker A: Also within the Beowulf Wikipedia is a subheading for, quote, debate over oral tradition, which I'm like, yes, technically, as I have come to understand the broad strokes of it. That is something that needs be remarked. And also, [00:10:56] Speaker C: I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it through this because you're. [00:10:59] Speaker A: You. [00:11:00] Speaker C: You also have me at broad strokes. So, like, what? [00:11:04] Speaker A: The broad strokes of the oral tradition. [00:11:06] Speaker B: So I'm. [00:11:08] Speaker C: Oh, I'm not gonna say it. This is your. You are Professional podcast host. I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it. [00:11:18] Speaker B: But did we tell the people who I am? [00:11:22] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:11:23] Speaker C: No, please tell the people who you are. [00:11:25] Speaker A: Tell the people. Tell the people. Hi, people. [00:11:29] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm that one tranny who you may be vaguely aware of on Blue sky who occasionally posts her tits and. And more often yells about feminism to nobody. [00:11:42] Speaker C: That's still a large swap. [00:11:44] Speaker B: Also, I have a doctorate in Medieval English literature, and that is my collection of Beowulf adaptations minus the Beowulf the movie. The board game Based on the 2007 Robert Zemeckis movie that's in the closet in the other room. It won't fit on the shelf. Among these, I have. I have over 40 translations, three different primary editions of the old English text, a bunch of books with articles and. Or even just books solely about Beowulf. At least 20 odd adaptations, book poem, various adaptations, and then six movies. An awful TV show that has nothing to do with the Beowulf narrative at all. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Which one's. [00:12:41] Speaker B: I don't know. What's going on. It's just called Beowulf. It's just called Beowulf. It's a Beowulf TV show. Yeah, it's. It's bonkers. The PS3 version of the video game based on the 2007 Robert Zimika's movie. I have the script for the Robert Zamikis movie written by none other than noted sex pest Neil Gaiman. [00:13:05] Speaker C: I have it in graphic novel form. [00:13:09] Speaker B: And then I also have. I have here. And we will come back to her later. This is the action figure of Grendel's mother from the Beowulf 2007 Robert Zamikas movie. Note that they could not afford the likeness of Angelina Jolie for an action figure. And so they used the version of her we only ever see in Reflections. The base monster form. [00:13:37] Speaker C: Yes. [00:13:38] Speaker A: That's kind of cool. I don't know. I like that. That's a weird object. [00:13:41] Speaker B: It is such a weird object. And we're going to get back to her in a while, but I want to say. Okay, so. [00:13:51] Speaker C: So you have fetus. [00:13:53] Speaker B: You know what the. [00:13:54] Speaker C: You're talking about? [00:13:55] Speaker B: This is my. This is my. I have. I read the Maria Devana Headley translation the other day. So the last week. So I could just have it fresh in my mind, the narrative again. Because I haven't read a. Translate one of the translations in a couple of years now. I've been not working on the project because that I have. Because poverty. [00:14:23] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:14:26] Speaker B: It makes it hard to do. It's not like I got. I. I got my doctorate, but I didn't get. Get a professorship. So. Yeah. What do you do? [00:14:36] Speaker C: We will indeed be directing people on where to send you money at the end, like we always do. Yeah. But. Yeah, no, I just want to say once again, not only do we bring you the transes, we bring you the best transes, we bring you the most knowledgeable transes on whatever we're going to make gay jokes about. Okay. [00:14:57] Speaker B: So I'm a translator. [00:14:59] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Literally. [00:15:02] Speaker B: Yeah. No, that, that's. [00:15:05] Speaker C: No, I'm sorry. That delighted me. [00:15:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:10] Speaker A: There's gotta be one heel here. [00:15:11] Speaker B: But I knew you'd laugh. It's going to be funny. [00:15:15] Speaker C: Yeah, that was really. That was terrible. But in the same way that Bobby Heenan is terrible. And like now I just want to be like, will you stop? [00:15:24] Speaker B: So, yes, the bugs told us her knowledge of Beowulf. Ella. What? What do you know? [00:15:30] Speaker C: I've never read the thing proper. I have the. The novelization by Ass and I had. I fell asleep during the movie in the theater. Because it was the. [00:15:44] Speaker B: Robert. [00:15:46] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, it was, it was ungood. But I grew up loving like the classics. The idea of it. Like I, the, the, the time period I was fascinated with. I loved like myths and stuff. Growing up like always and then getting into it in school. I was, I had no idea that until I grew up and like, look back at. That was a Sam Raimi joint. But you better believe Hercules and Xena. I was a big Xena girl and there were signs as far as the gender goes. So like God. [00:16:23] Speaker A: Okay. [00:16:24] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. And thank, thank you. Thank you both Xena and Gabrielle for that. And also. Well, I like, I like to say that every, every woman has inside her a Xena, a Gabrielle and a Callisto. So. [00:16:40] Speaker B: Okay, well, why aren't they inside me right now then? [00:16:43] Speaker C: That is what I want to say every time. Yes. So yeah, I, I, that's, you know. So I, I have a gist of the general story. I wanted to. This would be a good transition into adaptations probably because I wanted to refresh, but I didn't want to watch the Zemeckis book for so many reasons. So I looked up like what other film adaptations are there? And there's. I saw some doozies. I saw some that I waiter. That were shown to me that I wasn't aware of that made me go what? But the one I ended up watching was called was like Beowulf and grendel When I think 2005. [00:17:30] Speaker A: Yep, that sounds right. [00:17:31] Speaker B: 1005. Beowulf and Grendel. [00:17:33] Speaker C: What. I will say this because you, you informed me that it was trash and I'm. [00:17:39] Speaker B: That's my opinion. [00:17:40] Speaker C: Personally, I want to believe you, but this stack is. This cast is cast. This stack is cast. [00:17:47] Speaker B: All right, so yeah, I'm pretty sure Beowulf and Grendel is fairly well regarded as far as anything I want out of a Beowulf movie. It's absolute garbage. That's. That's, that's me talking. I'm not saying that it's a bad movie, but. [00:18:06] Speaker C: Well, all of my. [00:18:07] Speaker B: It looks, it looks good next to other Beowulfs has a history of bad adaptations. [00:18:14] Speaker C: Fair. Well, I, to this I'll say that all of my thoughts re. The. What I want. How do I put the relation to wrestling came from the refresher of that. So I have, I do, I do have some thoughts, but they might, they might be trash. They might not be. [00:18:36] Speaker B: Fine, because here's the thing. This is, this is broadly about Beowulf translations Adaptations. A lot of them are trash. A lot of them suck, especially the films. The best film adaptation of Beowulf isn't directly based off Beowulf. It's based off Michael Crichton's book Eaters of the Dead, which is based off Beowulf. It's the Antonio Banderas movie the 13th Warrior from 1999, which is. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Antonio Banderas is in there and, like, [00:19:07] Speaker B: it's a movie about being such a good promo that you transcend the language barrier. [00:19:14] Speaker C: Yeah, I need to see this. I. I never have. I always wanted to, but instead it's like somehow I remember being way too young, probably for both of them, but certainly for the one that I ended up getting. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is why I have a podcast, because I should say things that are embarrassing into a microphone. [00:19:36] Speaker B: On the far other end of the spectrum, you have the 1999 Christopher Lambert movie Beowulf, which is in a weird techno, medieval future past maybe, I don't fucking know, like Highlander 2 style. [00:19:55] Speaker C: Like. Like weird, kind of like, what's going on here? [00:19:57] Speaker B: Where are here? She's played by Rona Mitra, and her entire character can be summed up as tits. And to further cement that, what they were after and what they were trying to present to us was, you know, the highest quality and caliber of acting. October 1997, Playboy Playmate of the Month. Layla Roberts plays Grendel's mother. Again, Tits. [00:20:29] Speaker A: Well, yeah, this is. [00:20:30] Speaker B: This is what this movie really had to sell us. But it did some interesting things that I'll talk about later. They're interesting in a very bad way, but they're interesting and they inform a big part of why I want to write about Beowulf. [00:20:50] Speaker C: Well, I can relate that to wrestling already. That's total stop, non stop action. That's DNA. That has DNA. Wrestling. That's Jeff Jarrett's baby. [00:20:59] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:21:00] Speaker C: Yeah. So, you know, it's all about tits, and then they end up doing some interesting things, but not in a good way. [00:21:08] Speaker B: Well, and wrestling is full of just really weird and awful takes on the core concept, many of which are the brainchild of Vince McMahon. [00:21:20] Speaker C: Christ. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that guy. [00:21:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:24] Speaker B: So. [00:21:25] Speaker C: But yes, yes. [00:21:28] Speaker B: I want to take us through the story and kind of, you know, think there are six particular major characters. You can't really call some of them characters. They're not really characters. Beowulf doesn't work that way. It's a very strange poem. Notable figures, notable figures of the poem. There's a seventh. I haven't figured out what his Deal is. But we're going to. We're going to. I'm going to kind of just summarize story, stop at character. Talk about deal and bugs. Do you. If you have magic cards for any of them. Ella, if you have wrestler thoughts. I have wrestler thoughts. [00:22:06] Speaker C: Sure. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Yeah, no, that sounds good. I was literally just about to ask if you want to explain for the bugs is in the audience who were convinced literally until like 20 minutes ago, that there was a huge fucking snake in this. There's no snake. Why I. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Why did I. [00:22:21] Speaker A: What am I confusing this with? [00:22:23] Speaker B: I have no idea. There is no steak. [00:22:26] Speaker A: He fights a large sea serpent. [00:22:29] Speaker B: There's no. Oh, I know what part you're thinking about now. And I'll get to it when we talk about. Okay, wait, I'm right. [00:22:35] Speaker A: There's a big snake. [00:22:37] Speaker B: They're sort of. Okay, the word serpent may have come off. [00:22:41] Speaker A: Yes. Like a large. [00:22:44] Speaker B: I will get there. I promise. You will. [00:22:46] Speaker A: You will be. Swear to God. [00:22:48] Speaker B: You will have. You will have your shit clarified. [00:22:51] Speaker A: I will be vindicated. [00:22:53] Speaker B: So Beowulf starts off with telling the lineage of the king Hrothgar. It talks about his great grandfather and his grandfather and his father and how they were all fucking just, you know, great conquering kings who were good at war and they gave generously and all that shit. And then Hrothgar comes in and he's this guy, he's the new king of the Danes and he, you know, continues that tradition. He is still really strong it and, you know, good at. Good at battle, winning, conquer territory, get treasure, distribute treasure to your guys because you want to show them that you love them and everyone loves Hrothgar. He builds this big ass mead hall for his plate, his guys to get sloshed in. And that's really cool. So dudes are great. Like, nothing could ever possibly go wrong here, right? [00:23:48] Speaker A: Right. No, certainly nothing could ever go wrong. [00:23:53] Speaker B: Who's. When you think like a beloved king, a beloved, you know, authority figure who, you know, makes everybody happy and everybody loves him and, you know, but he's also past his fighting days. He's an old guy now. Who do you think in. Is there anyone like that in magic? Is there anyone you can think of in wrestling? [00:24:16] Speaker A: Beloved kings and magic? I would need to. Oh, I mean, there's the gay kings, [00:24:20] Speaker C: but like beloved kings that are past their prime. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Doesn't have to be specifically a king, like an authority figure. I'm. [00:24:27] Speaker C: I'm thinking. [00:24:28] Speaker B: I'm thinking Commissioner Foley. [00:24:31] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Commission. Okay. [00:24:34] Speaker B: Commissioner Foley is kind of like my analog in wrestling to how Hrothgar is presented to us. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Oh, oh, oh, here, I got a guy for you. I got a guy for you. [00:24:44] Speaker C: Here we go looking in the chat. We're getting banged again. [00:24:48] Speaker A: Yeah, this guy, I mean, we, we think a little bit older, but, like. Yeah, like, like, he's a, he's a King Kenny type. [00:24:55] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, King Kenny Kenrith, the returned king. [00:24:58] Speaker B: Okay. [00:24:58] Speaker A: Yeah, just this, like, beloved dude who's. He's just given everything out. He's a man of the people. [00:25:04] Speaker C: Yeah, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, I could see that. Like, yeah, no, I see what you're saying with Commissioner Foley, then. Yeah. No, not, Not a heel. Beloved. [00:25:16] Speaker B: Yeah, he's. He's beloved. He's not a heel. He's, you know, like, we're, we're looking at a poem that's, you know, very concerned with the question of what's a good king? What makes a good king? You know, what, what it's, you know, very much positing is a good king is one who, you know, leads you, who leads well in battle and who is generous with the spoils. Yeah, these are, these are key things. He's not going to be a coward and he's going to pay up. And this is, you know, really the [00:25:52] Speaker C: opposite of Pete Hegseth. [00:25:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:55] Speaker C: Fantastic. [00:25:56] Speaker B: So he builds this mead hall, and his guys start partying and they're having a great time, and people are, you know, singing poetry and stuff. And down the road, something hears that and it doesn't like it and it starts rampaging. [00:26:15] Speaker A: Wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Before we go further, is the Grinch based on Beowulf? [00:26:23] Speaker C: Oh, shit. [00:26:24] Speaker B: Is Grinch Grendel kind of a little. Kind of a little. Oh. Oh, that's interesting. [00:26:35] Speaker C: Oh, because the who's are having a who feel. [00:26:38] Speaker B: It's. Yeah, it's just, it's just up through the Grendel fight. But yeah, the Grinch. The Grinch Stole Christmas is a very Beowulfian story, I think. [00:26:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. [00:26:49] Speaker C: Like, like, just, just for the. [00:26:51] Speaker B: Now we gotta ask ourselves later if the Grinch is Graps. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I mean, I mean, that's more like. Is Seuss graps. I think we'd have to really. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Yeah, that could be a Year of the Turtles. [00:27:00] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:27:01] Speaker C: Deuces. Comedy wrestling. And comedy wrestling is wrestling. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Sorry, you were saying? I just, I, that, like, bolt out of, like. Wait, hold on. Thank you. [00:27:11] Speaker B: I, I. [00:27:12] Speaker A: How the Grendel. [00:27:14] Speaker B: I have a great new way of looking at the Grinch. This is wonderful. [00:27:18] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:27:21] Speaker B: And so Grendel comes to the mead hall and he stomps his way in, and he starts killing people and eating them. And then he stomps his way back, and just like the Grinch, this keeps them in check. They're like, shit. Uh oh. If we party, we get eaten. This ain't good. No one's able to stand up and fight against this. No one there is strong enough. Grendel's just a big, scary, tough monster that no normal guy can take down. [00:27:57] Speaker C: Oh, no. We need some sort of superhuman baby face that everyone will love. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Okay, this is a monster heel, and this monster heel, I mean, I think we'll get to it. And there's a reason why I choose Giant Gonzalez. [00:28:17] Speaker C: Oh, God damn it. [00:28:20] Speaker B: Grendel is extremely dangerous. But just wait, because I'm about to tell you, once I get to Beowulf, that's. That's when the reason why I pick Giant Gonzalez comes out. [00:28:32] Speaker C: Okay, but I'm trying to think of. Of who the Beowulf to. To. To Giant Gonzalez's Grendel would be, and I'm very upset. Very, very. I'm not. Okay, yeah, no, I see where you're going. You're not. Rod. [00:28:48] Speaker B: I'm not going to be keeping consistent here. It's not like Undertaker ever feuded with a woman. So I'm not gonna be like, he's. Beowulf is Undertaker. Therefore, Grendel's mother is. Who the. Oh, there is an Undertaker comic book. He has a younger sister in that. She escape. I think she's the Queen of Hell. [00:29:10] Speaker A: Hell. Yeah. [00:29:10] Speaker C: I'm good for her. Good for her. She got out. [00:29:14] Speaker B: It's silly. [00:29:15] Speaker C: Oh, God. [00:29:17] Speaker B: But no. So if you're. If you guys are thinking Grendel, who are you thinking? Like, what? Any cards or graps come to mind? [00:29:25] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I mean. [00:29:27] Speaker B: I mean, it's a monster heel. It's easy. [00:29:30] Speaker C: Of what era? Yeah, we're talking. If we're talking, like. Oh, in. In the grand sense. Yes, it's the monster heel. So I think, like, George the Animal Steel, I. I think George the Animal Steel really hard. Actually, [00:29:45] Speaker B: I think early the Giant in wcw, like. Like Giant, he is. Here's the thing. [00:29:53] Speaker C: He's very visible when his dad was still Andre. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:57] Speaker C: After all. Right. Like, when his dad was still Andre. Yes, absolutely. When his dad was still Andre. That's, like, what they were going for. Yeah, they were like, straight. Straight up. Like, this guy slew your daddy. [00:30:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:12] Speaker C: Come back and. And. And eat. Eat them. [00:30:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:15] Speaker C: Like, and like that's what they were going for. And they did it poorly because of course they did. Yeah, yeah. Because like the, that was the most, one of the most goddamn dicky was things to be like is the son of Andre the Giant. Andre Rusimov. Paul White is not French bugs Diamond. A little French bugs. [00:30:40] Speaker B: My roommate made me play test a deck she built out of her girlfriend's bulk and I literally played that card. [00:30:50] Speaker A: Yeah. So it's like, I don't know if it's a perfect analog to Grendel because it's not very tough, but it's a big shithead for those ball knowers at home. I, I, I think I kind of like at least visually analog Grendel to a yargle glutton of Urborg SC style. Big, big, big meatball big. [00:31:13] Speaker B: And, and the thing is so you know, Grendel, Grendel is, you know, built up, you know, great. He's, he's a great monster heel. He comes in, he kills these guys. He rules the roost for like 12 years. They don't, they're, they're scared. So Grendel is, you know, who the fuck's going to take this guy out? How is anyone gonna do it? You know, it's, yeah. So yeah, he looks tough, he's scary. He kills people dead. [00:31:41] Speaker C: Eats him apparently. [00:31:42] Speaker B: But someone has heard about this monster problem and says, hey, I heard y' all have a monster. I'm here to solve it. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Oh, I do have another potential. Good. Grendel. [00:31:55] Speaker B: Another potential Grendel. Yeah, I'm interested. [00:32:00] Speaker A: I would say this is also kind of Grendel esque. [00:32:06] Speaker C: Gitrog. Oh, he's cute. [00:32:08] Speaker A: He's a frog horror. [00:32:10] Speaker C: Yeah, he is. I love him. [00:32:13] Speaker A: That's also my son. [00:32:15] Speaker C: Yeah, no, yeah, he's a frog whore. That's also my son. Oh, that's amazing. [00:32:22] Speaker B: He looks so good. [00:32:24] Speaker C: Whoever that arm in his mouth belongs to had it coming, I'm sure. [00:32:29] Speaker A: Well, speaking there's so much lore about the arm and his mouth, there's a long. I could, I could go on about the questionably. It's obviously story inaccurate, but for the longest time there was a joke about his arm that was allegedly, it was Thalia's arm. I will not explain who my wife Thalia is right now. She might come up later. [00:32:50] Speaker C: Yep. You'll have to keep listening to the pod. In the meantime, I'm just gonna say it's a Dane. Is it? [00:32:56] Speaker B: Arms are extremely important to the story of Grendel. [00:33:00] Speaker C: Yes. [00:33:00] Speaker B: From him eating arms, but because of how he will die, because there's a reason I picked Giant. Gonzalez Grendel is very dangerous and he's a big threat. And everyone's like, ah, shit, I'm too scared. But he gets pretty much buried as soon as he meets the first face he really feuds with. [00:33:21] Speaker C: Yeah, that's all it really takes. Like, I'm done with you. [00:33:25] Speaker B: And. And the first. So Beowulf comes. He's from the. [00:33:29] Speaker A: He's. [00:33:30] Speaker B: He's not a Dane, he's a geek. [00:33:32] Speaker A: He's. He's. [00:33:33] Speaker B: He's from Geatland, over yonder, a little ways across the sea. [00:33:38] Speaker C: In the version I watched, it was played by Gerard Butler. So they're like, that's Scotland. We're just gonna go ahead and say, that's a Scott. [00:33:49] Speaker A: Yes. [00:33:49] Speaker B: It's been a few years since I watched that one. I do not remember much of it. [00:33:57] Speaker C: He was, he. He was very Scottish in that movie. Like, he really threw it on there. [00:34:04] Speaker B: And. And so Beowulf comes and he gets stopped at the shore. It's just like, hey, border check. And they like, yeah, no, my dad's like a friend of the king. So, I mean, I heard you have a monster problem. Yeah, I'm your solution. So let me talk to the king. And the guy's like, yeah, we know about you, dad. Okay, yeah, no, come talk to the king. Tell. Tell him what's up. And Beowulf goes and presents his case to the king, which is basically a very formal boast of, hey, I'm a fucking badass. I can solve this monster problem for you. And here's where I think your serpent comes from. Bugs. We have another character who comes in. His name is Unferth. And he gets into this kind of formal boast situation with Beowulf where he basically calls out Beowulf and is like, hey, you're kind of a wuss, right? Like, you kind of suck. You lost a swimming competition against Breca, right? And now he's like, just dissing Beowulf. I like an unfurthed to pre tribal chief Roman reigns challenging John Cena to a promo. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Wait, that's entirely. [00:35:24] Speaker B: Holy sh. [00:35:25] Speaker C: That's beautiful. [00:35:29] Speaker B: Responds basically with. It's called a promo, kid. Take your time. [00:35:34] Speaker C: Yeah, no, I. I gotta say, this whole thing, you're. I know where you're. I. I think I know where you're going. Because, like, to me. So. Yeah, because right now, Beowulf to me is. I, as much as I hate to say it, it's John Cena. [00:35:49] Speaker B: No, like every Time. [00:35:50] Speaker C: Every time you start to describing Beowulf, I hear the trumpets in my head. [00:35:56] Speaker B: I promise, this is never crossed my mind for Beowulf at all. [00:36:01] Speaker C: Hmm. [00:36:01] Speaker A: At least this is Beowulf at this point in time. [00:36:03] Speaker C: To me, jubilant brawler Taivar. [00:36:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, he is pretty jubilant about his brawling. I promise you, Ella, you have no. You will not guess in a million years. I think pick for Beowulf. I will give you the opportunity for five guesses before I reveal it. When it's my first. [00:36:23] Speaker C: All right, well, my first one is John. My first one is John Cena. [00:36:28] Speaker B: I'm giving you five when we come up to it [00:36:32] Speaker C: that aren't John Cena. Okay. Yeah, that was a freebie. Okay, so it's not John Cena. Okay. [00:36:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it's not John Cena. The Beowulf responds, and this is where I think the serpent you might be thinking of Ella comes in because he says, yeah, I did lose that swimming contest with Breca. We swam for three days and I got attacked by sea serpents and I fought them off and I still barely lost. I was right on his. I was literally a hand length behind him. [00:37:06] Speaker A: That could be it. [00:37:09] Speaker B: Are you. Who the Are you? Oh, I. I've heard of you didn't all your. Huh. [00:37:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:37:14] Speaker B: Why don't you have any brothers anymore, buddy? Through the jugular. I remember they. They said you might have had something to do with that, didn't they? And so that. That's Beowulf just absolutely burying the out of Unfurth. [00:37:33] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, you're done. Yeah, like you're not. Yeah, that's. That's rough. [00:37:39] Speaker B: I also think of, yeah, Beowulf's ability to put down and bury just unrelated talent. That is very John Cena, I will give you that. [00:37:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, you also now got me thinking of. Of Cena getting the rock. When he. He called him out for having his. His promo notes on his arm that one time, he's like, yeah, you got your promo written on your arm, dude, you're not even on my level. Like, I'm coming out here and freestyling like white boy rap, and you already, like, you have to write this down. You got. Yeah, you got Brian Hertz or whatever in the back writing for you on your arm so you can go be funny and like. And it's. And it's not working. And I was like, I don't love John Cena by any stretch of the means, but that was pretty great. Like, that was. Yeah, that was like, oh my God, I remember that. And I was just like, ouch. [00:38:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I was in my hiatus. I took a break from watching wrestling from right after Benoit to 2015 takeover Brooklyn. [00:38:50] Speaker C: Yeah, that's not bad. I. [00:38:52] Speaker B: My friend Chris brought me back into it. He was just like, oh, hey, two things for your interest. One, women's wrestling. Good. Now to. Have you seen this guy, Finn Balor? [00:39:06] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:39:08] Speaker B: And I was like, okay, I'll see what you got. [00:39:11] Speaker C: Indeed. [00:39:12] Speaker B: And yeah, Sasha and Bailey was awesome. And Finn Balor is very spoopy and [00:39:20] Speaker C: I like, very spooky. Did he do Demon that night? I. I don't. [00:39:25] Speaker B: I never saw anyone the NXT title. [00:39:27] Speaker C: I. Okay, I never watched nxt. Yeah, okay, so he did Demon that night. I love Demon. [00:39:32] Speaker B: It was so good. But also they showed in the audience someone K. And I was immediately like, oh, hello, you are something different. [00:39:45] Speaker C: Oscar's. Oscar's emperor. [00:39:50] Speaker B: So. So there are. Well, I'll give you a second hint here. There are two wrestlers that I like in Beowulf. Two. [00:39:59] Speaker C: Okay, so to. [00:40:01] Speaker B: There are. There are two. I don't think you're going to get the first one I thought of, but you might get the second one. Beowulf lays out his boast. He's like, yeah, also. So this Grendel thing, he doesn't use weapons. He doesn't wear armor. Yeah, no. Okay, I will skip the weapons and armor too. I'm going to fucking grab this guy. [00:40:22] Speaker A: I'm a wrestle this man, Nicky. [00:40:25] Speaker C: Yeah. As God intended. Greco Roman. Yeah. [00:40:28] Speaker B: There's nothing about being naked in the poem. That is Neil Gaiman and Robert Zemeckis. [00:40:34] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't know that was the thing. I just, I, I haven't seen. I, I didn't know what a Beowulf was until about seven minutes ago. [00:40:43] Speaker B: So the, so the Robert Zamickis, Neil Gaiman1, they do have him fight naked. It's for all kinds of little prop gags. Hiding his dick. [00:40:52] Speaker A: Oh, I was gonna ask if they motion captured his dick or if they were cowards. [00:40:56] Speaker B: They make sense. They. They also very specifically make a point in that. So here's a sidebar. Grendel's dick doesn't exist in that movie. They actually call that out because Beowulf skies go to try and stab him in the junk and they're just like, the Beast has no Pinto. And so that's very. Yeah. Meanwhile, I have an Image Comics adaptation here that has Grendel dick out dripping cum the whole time. As long as he's killing people well, yeah, no, that's. [00:41:32] Speaker A: Why else is he killing people? Like, oh, I hate Joy. I hate Joy. No, you don't, Grendel. You just want to come, and that's fine. [00:41:43] Speaker B: We all. Everyone loves for you. It's important that we allow everyone to get their cummies. [00:41:52] Speaker C: Oh, God. [00:41:53] Speaker A: You can come now. [00:41:54] Speaker C: I just want to say for anyone who is here, after last week's like. Like, like normal episode. Normal episode about, like, politics and, like, philosophy and rest, you've got a woman [00:42:08] Speaker B: with a split tongue saying, go ahead and come. Do it for me. [00:42:13] Speaker A: Jesus. [00:42:15] Speaker B: Might as well. [00:42:17] Speaker C: Podcasting has been very good to me. So. Yeah, that. What were we talking about again? You lost me at cummies. No, in it. It plays into the. The adaptation that I watched as well, narratively, very much so, in ways I don't necessarily love because it's. It's assault. But, yeah, yeah, there is. [00:42:43] Speaker B: There is an interesting undercurrent in adaptations. It's not in any of the translations that I have ever read because it's not at all in the poem, really, but it is weirdly present in various adaptations, and it's very strange, very interesting to me. [00:43:05] Speaker C: Which is. Which is. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Oh, just the. The real Beowulf is an extremely sexless poem. It is very like you. You would think even you. You might get as much as a. Hey, bail. This is an epic poem. This is about a hero. Hero gets the. Gets a girl at the end, right? [00:43:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:28] Speaker B: Beowulf, at the end of the poem, you know, at the end of his life, dies single. [00:43:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:43:35] Speaker B: He is a confirmed bachelor. [00:43:37] Speaker C: Bachelor. I was just going to say notable. [00:43:40] Speaker B: Okay. Very non existent Interest in sex or sexuality anywhere in the palm. [00:43:48] Speaker A: He's too busy battling. He got stuff to do. [00:43:52] Speaker B: Yes. His only focus is on the battle. [00:43:57] Speaker C: All right, so. So the PG13 era, John Cena. PG13 era John Cena, sexless. You're not allowed to. There's nothing you can't be right. All you care about is God and country in the WWE title. [00:44:11] Speaker B: Yeah. So Beowulf, not naked, you know, lays in wait for Grendel and he, you know, waits for Grendel to come. They have a party, they sing a bunch of poems, they tell other stories. And that night, Grendel comes, and the first thing he does is he grabs one of Beowulf's guys and he eats his head. His name was Honshu. It means glove. [00:44:34] Speaker C: It means snack. [00:44:35] Speaker B: Now, anyway, Grendel then comes up to Beowulf and is like, I'm gonna grab this guy, too. And Beowulf grabs him in a hand grip, wrestles him down from just like. This is like a test of strength. Hand grip. [00:44:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:50] Speaker B: And he just fucking knuckles Grendel down and rips his arm off. [00:44:56] Speaker C: Oh, fantastic. [00:44:59] Speaker B: And Grendel slinks away to die. So like I said, Giant Gonzalez, you lose to a fucking test of strength. [00:45:06] Speaker C: That's really nuts. [00:45:09] Speaker B: So that Beowulf swole, he's like as strong as 30 guys, so. [00:45:15] Speaker C: Oh, wait, so who got. Wait, who ripped his arm off? Beowulf. [00:45:19] Speaker B: Beowulf. [00:45:20] Speaker C: Okay, okay. [00:45:21] Speaker B: I missed that part with a test of strength. [00:45:23] Speaker C: Damn. All right. That's messed up. How very. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:45:29] Speaker C: I don't even. See, I was gonna say. Because that also, like, as I was watching this adaptation and then it, like, keeps going. And then there's Grendel's mom, and I was like, oh, that's right. There's a whole other thing in this adaptation I watched. He got himself caught in a trap and instead of getting killed, he cut his own arm off and then like, ran away to the ocean and his mom came and took him back to the cave where he died. [00:45:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:58] Speaker B: Weirdly, the 2007 Robert Zemeckis animated motion capped one is trying, and by sheer accident. Because it's not trying in many other ways. And it fails in several sheer. By sheer accident, it somehow is the most poem accurate version on film. [00:46:23] Speaker C: Oh, no. Really? Damn it. [00:46:26] Speaker B: And it's not good because they didn't make it good. [00:46:31] Speaker C: Yeah, they made it very poorly because [00:46:33] Speaker B: it should be good. Like, this should be good. [00:46:37] Speaker C: How are you gonna up an Anthony Hopkins performance? [00:46:40] Speaker B: Right. [00:46:41] Speaker C: Like, that's just. You gotta be trying. [00:46:44] Speaker B: So I'm gonna ask five guesses. Can you. [00:46:48] Speaker A: You. [00:46:48] Speaker B: You'll probably. I'm gonna guess. You might guess what one. But I don't think you're going to guess both. And I don't think you're going to guess one in particular. Who do you think I thought of when I thought, okay, how do I make a very quick. This guy's Beowulf? [00:47:05] Speaker C: Well, I mean, I. And I'm trying to go off of what you have told me too, because I. Then I have my own thoughts. Yeah, as well. But off of yours. If it's not Cena, then in the chank, it's the house of it all as well. My first thought went, brother, like it. Is it Terry? Is it Terry? [00:47:31] Speaker B: It is not Terry. It is not the Hulkster Terry Bolea. May he rob. [00:47:37] Speaker C: Yes, but we get a lot of that. [00:47:40] Speaker B: No, this is. This is not that. Not Terry Hulkster would be more like if Beowulf were one of the Danes. [00:47:50] Speaker C: Were what? Yeah, okay. See that I also factored in the outsider aspect is what I was trying to factor in. The other thing I think of, as much as I hate it, and also the, in the fact that it's so silly in how it went down as well, and I hate to do it. Oh, no. Is it Big Kev brother taking down Goldberg? [00:48:19] Speaker B: It is not. [00:48:24] Speaker C: Sexy. Again, okay? Because you say outsider, I'm like, well, [00:48:27] Speaker B: this is a very. This is a very sexless poem. He's not big sexy. [00:48:32] Speaker C: All right, fair enough. But you say outsider, and I think the outsiders. Okay, all right, fair enough. So you got Outside Baby Face. Sexless Outside Baby Face knocks him out in a feat of strength. [00:48:50] Speaker B: And I'm not gonna. [00:48:52] Speaker C: My brain wants to say it's not [00:48:53] Speaker B: a full one to one in everything. It's okay. [00:48:56] Speaker C: All right, okay. Well, I mean, technically, WCW let us know that, that he came from a long line of Irish American knuckle fighters. Hacksaw Jim Duggan. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Hacksaw was one I considered thinking of, but no, he's not one of the two. [00:49:18] Speaker C: Oh, it couldn't be the Immaculate Dream, could it? No, not Dusty. Okay. [00:49:24] Speaker B: No Dusty. [00:49:25] Speaker C: No Dusty. All right. What? That's what, four? [00:49:28] Speaker B: That's four. I'll give you one more. I will give you one of my picks to partially liken Beowulf. Two is a man and one is a woman. [00:49:41] Speaker C: Okay. Okay. When I was looking for adaptations, I did come across a movie, literally, called Beowulf, like, B, A, E. And I was like, I'm gonna come back to you because you might. You might be gay, and I would like that. It's giving me the vibes. [00:50:02] Speaker A: Sorry. I've been trying to liken Beowulf to Jackass for the last five minutes, which is why I've been quiet. [00:50:08] Speaker C: No, that's fine. I, I, I'm being put to the test here, and I enjoy it because normally I can go, go, go, go in, in. Yap, yap, yap, yap. So, like, oh, this is my last choice. I want to, like, make it good. One. One's a boy, one's a girl, and [00:50:27] Speaker A: it's not Johnny Knoxville. We're, we're certain of that. [00:50:30] Speaker B: It is not Johnny Knoxville. [00:50:32] Speaker C: Even when he fought Sami Zayn at WrestleMania, it was an amazing match. [00:50:36] Speaker B: It is not Jonathan of Knoxville. [00:50:39] Speaker C: All right, John. [00:50:40] Speaker A: He literally is from Knoxville. That's crazy. [00:50:43] Speaker C: I did not know that. That makes sense, though. He's, he doesn't Seem like someone who would be very clever in finding a stage name. [00:50:52] Speaker A: Look, his brain. His two brain cells are needed for other things. [00:50:55] Speaker C: Yes, yes. Oddly enough, physics. [00:50:59] Speaker B: I just had cheese at me, [00:51:04] Speaker C: so. Oh, God. It's not Taker. No, no. You mentioned taker, but it can't be Taker. No, Taker makes no sense at all. [00:51:15] Speaker B: I mean, I did consider taker as an option just because. Yes, he does. In many ways. He gets the kind of force of nature face thing going. [00:51:27] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:51:29] Speaker B: It's. But he. I didn't want to pick Taker. I already picked Gonzalez. I didn't need to pick Taker. [00:51:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Out outsider, force of nature. Oh, God. I have. For some reason, because I think because you brought up Gonzalez, I've been stuck in the Fed. And then you brought up Go. You have Goldie. So I've been thinking WCW really hard. So I've even been thinking modern stuff. [00:51:54] Speaker B: I will note that I do not regularly keep up with AEW right now. [00:51:59] Speaker C: Oh, that helps. [00:52:00] Speaker B: I don't have a clue what they're doing. [00:52:02] Speaker C: Okay, that helps immensely. Let's go with. Wait, wait. Go ahead. [00:52:08] Speaker B: If you want to think modern, it will be wwe. In terms of the woman. [00:52:16] Speaker C: In terms of the woman. Okay. [00:52:18] Speaker B: That changes everything because I was about [00:52:22] Speaker C: to waste my last guess. [00:52:24] Speaker B: Who are you gonna guess with? [00:52:25] Speaker C: The way I was gonna guess. Cody is the outsider coming to topple the unstoppable. [00:52:32] Speaker A: Wait, that's so funny. [00:52:35] Speaker B: I didn't even consider it because I just don't give a shit about Cody. [00:52:39] Speaker C: This is right and good. [00:52:41] Speaker A: That's. Yeah. No, Correct. Correct. Take. But I'm like, I don't hate that as Beowulf. [00:52:46] Speaker B: But, like, I don't either, now that I'm thinking about it. [00:52:49] Speaker A: I. Like, I. I see it. I absolutely see it. [00:52:53] Speaker C: Oh, I give up. I can't. I'm calling it. Please let me know. [00:52:57] Speaker B: So the first one that I thought of was we're thinking a foreign face who goes on to win the title when he comes in to solve a problem after Magnum Ta had his horrific car accident. [00:53:15] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:53:17] Speaker B: Goes on to win the US Title in Jim Crockett Promotions. [00:53:23] Speaker C: You gave me the hint. Even you mentioned that we're gonna get 80s JCP. Fuck. All the pieces. All the pieces were there. Ella, like. [00:53:34] Speaker B: And then I mentioned her earlier because she is a foreign face. Force of nature. Oscar. [00:53:43] Speaker C: Oscar. Yeah, absolutely. [00:53:45] Speaker B: Beowulf is kind of a mix of the two of them. [00:53:48] Speaker C: I'm into that. I am into that. [00:53:50] Speaker B: Nikita Koloff. I knew you'd Never guess. [00:53:54] Speaker C: That's a deep cut. That's a right cut. That's. Like I said, it's my countryman, isn't it? He's from Minnesota. I'm pretty sure he still lives around here. [00:54:06] Speaker B: I've been a Graps fan since the womb. [00:54:09] Speaker C: Hey, well done. I took a 20 year break. [00:54:15] Speaker B: I took an 8 year break, but I was still a fan. [00:54:18] Speaker C: Yes, yes. [00:54:19] Speaker B: I just wasn't. I was not going to watch. I couldn't feel good about it. [00:54:24] Speaker C: I will say the. The first time I saw someone go through a table in person, though, I was in fact eight years old. The. Yeah, life's been good for the most part. So, yeah, no, that's. That all tracks. All the ones I thought of. All the ones I thought of. So the one thing. The other thing I wanted to talk on too because, like, eventually we. Well, I guess we'll get there. Well, no, you're not done with the story, I suppose. Finish the story. [00:54:54] Speaker B: Yeah, we got to get. So Beowulf killed Grendel. [00:54:57] Speaker C: Yes. [00:54:58] Speaker B: They party. Everything's good. We're done. Yay. [00:55:02] Speaker C: Then Grendel's mom. Yeah, yeah. [00:55:05] Speaker B: She kills Hrothgar's advisor, leaves his body, drags his head and spikes it outside her lair. Okay. Come get me scholarship for. We'll get to this. But yeah, she's traditionally depicted as a monster. There is no evidence in the poem to suggest that. Yeah, she's just a lady is an entirely viable reading. [00:55:35] Speaker C: That's kind of my thoughts. It seems just like a mom. Consider women are the devil. [00:55:41] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. [00:55:42] Speaker B: I just. [00:55:42] Speaker A: I just put. I just put a magic card in the chat. [00:55:44] Speaker C: Oh, I missed. [00:55:45] Speaker A: Consider Glissa after she gets phyrexianized, though, if that does not make you say mommy, I don't know what. [00:55:51] Speaker C: Oh, my. Yeah, there it is. I mean, Summer is holding up the official Grendel's mom action figure. And it looks like this Glissa lady who also. I mean. Yeah. Hey. [00:56:05] Speaker B: Okay, I'm good. I'm down. So, yeah, she comes. Beowulf goes. [00:56:12] Speaker C: It says, zombie elf. All right. Jesus Christ. [00:56:15] Speaker B: Beowulf goes and swims down to her underwater cave where she lives, and it takes him three days. Of course it does. He gets down there and he go. He goes out there Unfirth's, you know, made his apologies for being shit at promos and giving him his sword and said, here, use this to fight her. And Beowulf takes his sword and it just shatters on her. So, fuck, she's. She gets to Fight in him. She gets to fucking, you know, nearly stabbing him to death. And she's. This lady is a fucking absolute terror who, like the poem even is like. Yeah, no, it. [00:56:57] Speaker A: It. [00:56:58] Speaker B: You. You can think all you want about relative strength between men and women, but [00:57:03] Speaker C: yikes, yeah, you kill this lady's kid. [00:57:06] Speaker B: Like, this lady is fighting as hard and as well as Beowulf, and very near. He's only being saved by the fact that her blade is catching in the rings of his armor. Yeah, she's. Yeah. So I think of. We want monster heel. Yeah, I think. I think of Bull Nakano or Dump Matsumoto. [00:57:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna say Volnakano is good. But like. Oh, here's the thing, though. I also feel like monster heal. That is, like, also entirely justified. [00:57:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:42] Speaker C: You know what I mean? Like, so to me, it's like at this point, I almost feel like it's a monster baby, in my opinion. [00:57:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:49] Speaker A: Well, and I look at. [00:57:50] Speaker B: I look at. I think I'll get to why there's some nuance in picking bull or dump for that. But, you know, just. Just in terms of, like, when we step outside our appreciation of the craft and everything, we can, you know, look at them and go, oh, fuck. Yeah. No, this is. This is fucking superb shit right here. And people are not seeing the depth of it for what it is. [00:58:18] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:58:20] Speaker B: So we'll get there. [00:58:22] Speaker C: But yeah, [00:58:25] Speaker B: Beowulf finds a big sword in there and he uses it. He manages to kill her, and then he lops off Grendel's head for good measure and hauls it back up to the surface. Everyone's like, oh, like, fuck, we are saved. And they send Beow. You know, they give Beowulf more gifts. They send him off well, and Beowulf goes home. Oh, I'm over. You guys think. Because, Ella, you watched a movie that ends there. [00:58:53] Speaker C: Uh, yeah, basically. [00:58:56] Speaker B: I know what happens next, but fast forward 50 years. [00:59:01] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:59:03] Speaker B: Beowulf is now king back home. He is an old man. He is still a fucking warrior. Just goes out, does war, like, everything. And someone in his kingdom owns a slave, and that person goes and grabs a cup out of a dragon's den. [00:59:23] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:59:24] Speaker A: Great idea. This has never gone wrong for anyone in the history of the world. It is. It is well known that it's actually lucky to steal a dragon's treasure. [00:59:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:59:33] Speaker A: No one wants to know. Everything you hear. Fucking lies and heresy. [00:59:39] Speaker B: I will tell you. I know exactly what magic card should be brought up here. [00:59:44] Speaker A: Go for it, Smaug. [00:59:45] Speaker B: The Magnificent. I was thinking that. [00:59:47] Speaker A: I was. Yeah, you got Lord of the Rings [00:59:49] Speaker B: and the magic style because this is the dragon that inspired Tolkien to write Smaug. [00:59:56] Speaker C: Oh, that's awesome. I'm also like. That was, like, in a lot of ways, one of my first fandoms, Tolkien. So, like, I didn't realize that. That's. [01:00:05] Speaker B: That's. That is exactly why Bilbo's robbery of Smaug's horde is. Is the way it is. It's. It's exactly. [01:00:14] Speaker C: Oh, that's fantastic. [01:00:18] Speaker A: In universe card, though, the, er, dragon. The. The dragon [01:00:26] Speaker B: dragon. [01:00:27] Speaker C: That's terrifying. Dragon. Yeah. I don't ever want to see anything that's like, what if. A Dr. Eldritch horror. [01:00:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:37] Speaker C: Jesus. [01:00:38] Speaker A: It's literally the first dragon in the multiverse. Like, like, like in the story of magic. This is where all other dragons come from. Oh, you know. No, hold on. While we're on dragons. Hold on. I would be remiss if I not bring up my. My problematic fave. My bestie, My boy, Nico Bolas, my [01:01:01] Speaker B: roommate, wants to build me a deck based around him. [01:01:04] Speaker C: This is an elder dragon, which. [01:01:06] Speaker A: Bolas. Because there's. [01:01:08] Speaker B: I don't know which version. It's a commander deck. [01:01:11] Speaker C: That's a bit. That is another Lord's dragon. That's a long. [01:01:14] Speaker A: Probably go with the Ravager, just because [01:01:18] Speaker B: I think that might be the one. [01:01:20] Speaker A: The flip walker. [01:01:21] Speaker B: Yes, that's the one. [01:01:23] Speaker C: Yeah. That's a long boy in every one of them, too. [01:01:25] Speaker B: I, like, she made me. She just handed me a thing and said, scroll down this until you find one you like. And that was the first one I was like, I like what this one looks like. It does. [01:01:35] Speaker A: Yeah. No, no, no. Flippable Bolas kicks ass. I love dragons. I have never built a dragon deck myself because I don't want to just build, like, wooberg dragons, but I will do something eventually with them. [01:01:47] Speaker C: I'm guessing that that old King Beowulf back in Geatland also loved dragons. [01:01:53] Speaker A: They're all. Well, they come to visit him, so that's. Yeah. [01:01:56] Speaker B: That means to go fight a dragon. And he tells his guys, hey, I'm gonna fight this dragon. And I'm gonna be honest. I'm an old man now. This may not go well, but someone's got to defend this kingdom. Yeah. So I look at the. The dragon's the hardest one to think of a wrestling analogy for because of the fact that, yes, the dragon comes and the dragon wreaks a bunch of havoc. And, yes, the dragon kills Beowulf, but the dragon also dies in the process. [01:02:34] Speaker C: Yeah, and, and, and also like his got stolen. [01:02:39] Speaker B: I mean, I think I just pork laser. [01:02:42] Speaker C: And my, my brain's going. But my, my brain says if, if, if you're like a, a, a hoarding. This is, this is hoarding rich asshole who, who steals something shiny and gold from the people through nefarious purposes and then has to. No, no, no, no. This is more specific. That's. Overall, Vince might be, er, dragon, but, but, and then has to be taken down by the people's hero, even though he's getting a little bit later in the game as far as his adventuring career goes for, for the sake of the people. And they both just kind of go down in a bloody mess. This makes me think of Ric Flair and the American dream and the long back and forth story of those early starcades with the NWA title where the Horsemen take it from them nefarious means. And, and he's out there being. Flashing all his money and then what do we get? We get hard times, baby. And the, the common man before Vince made him the common man. And, and all that. And the bloody battles that those two have. Where they at? [01:04:07] Speaker B: I had the stupidest idea for a dragon analog here. [01:04:11] Speaker C: All right, hit me. All right, he's Ric Flair. That's fine. [01:04:14] Speaker B: This is a dragon that will get you. You will, you will die. You, you could, you could even say you are cursed to die, but you could probably take this dragon out in, in, in in fair grasps because you also know this dragon is also very motivated by human monies. [01:04:35] Speaker C: Oh, God damn it. Damn it. You went with. I don't. [01:04:41] Speaker B: The Dragon of Janhausen is a very viable argument. [01:04:45] Speaker C: It is, it is. And I too am very motivated by human monies. [01:04:50] Speaker B: So am I. [01:04:52] Speaker A: Who doesn't like capitalism? [01:04:55] Speaker B: Me. [01:04:58] Speaker C: My favorite dragon in wrestling, though, of course is the American dragon, Ryan Danielson. But that's either. Yeah, there's so many good dragons, I couldn't even know if I could say it because Ultimo. But is that where it ends? [01:05:09] Speaker B: It finally goes? He kills the dragon. His main guy, Wiglaf, who. He's just kind. He's there. He shames Beowulf's men for not riding with him to assist. And Wiglaf does provide a small assist that lets Beowulf get his side dagger and knife the dragon in the heart. But the dragon has already sunk a venomous fang into Beowulf's shoulder. So he's going to die. And he asked Wigloff. Hey. Hey, man, can you get me the treasure so I can see what I fought so hard for here? And then he tells wig off. You're going to be king now. I don't have an heir. I should have thought about that, probably. [01:05:56] Speaker C: Maybe this poem shouldn't have been so sexless. [01:05:59] Speaker B: You should give. You need to invest this money in the kingdom. Hard times are coming, and I want everyone to be well provided for. Wiglaf builds a funeral pyre for Beowulf, stacks all the treasure on it. They shove the dragon's body off the cliff into the sea, but they stack all the treasure on it because Wiglaf is like, yeah, this is some fricking cursed treasure. No, we're not taking this. And they burn the treasure and Beowulf. And that is the end of the poem. [01:06:33] Speaker A: That's fucking metal, dog. [01:06:35] Speaker B: It's such a fucking metal poem. My friend Anna says they considered making a Beowulf set in magic a long time ago, and they never did. [01:06:47] Speaker C: Fascinating. So many things are. Beowulf, you mentioned it was pretty. It was pretty funny, though. Like, you mentioned one of the adaptations when we were talking earlier. Was it outside? Outlander? [01:07:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Movie. [01:07:05] Speaker C: I threw that movie on one time just because I was like, this looks bad. Let's go. I do that a lot. And. And, like, I forget how long. [01:07:14] Speaker B: Movie. [01:07:15] Speaker C: No, I end up, like, enjoying it, but I can't remember how long it was before I was like, wait a minute. This is Beowulf. [01:07:22] Speaker B: It is Beowulf. Yeah, it's. It's Beowulf, but with an alien as hell. [01:07:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:28] Speaker B: As the monster. And the beef is with the mom from Jump. Yep, it's Beowulf. But you flip the order of the monsters. You only do the first two. And the mom is justifiably angry because, oops, he did a genocide against her entire species and then she killed his family. And now he's like, what the fuck is this bitch after me for? And it's like, oh, I. I'm the victim here. I only did a little bit of genocid. [01:08:02] Speaker C: Yeah, okay. [01:08:03] Speaker B: See that? You're doing so great. And then you're just whiffing like. There's so much I want to be able to say, like, about Grendel and his mother and indigeneity in the poem. [01:08:17] Speaker C: Okay. [01:08:18] Speaker A: And. [01:08:19] Speaker B: But I'm not going to, because I have another topic I want us to turn to as we wrap. As we start moving toward the end, [01:08:27] Speaker C: because, yeah, I was going to say there's more. [01:08:30] Speaker B: There's More to Beowulf being wrestling than just the narrative. [01:08:34] Speaker C: Well, yeah, there's so much. It's, it's. I mean, we might have to do a sequel down the line because there's like. Yeah, we do have to. Yeah, we do have to wrap and get close to wrapping up here. I have to edit this thing. But like, it's. I'm curious because you kind of touch out there in a lot. In the adaptation I watched, there was a theme that does not appear to have been part of the poem. But this, that was one of the main things that I went to for my gratz analysis, really, which in the version I saw, he kills Grendel's dad as they take over that beach. The Danes show up and basically kill his dad, who. They're just already there. Just like. Because they took a fish. [01:09:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:25] Speaker C: And. And he has the opportunity to kill young Grendel and he pities him and lets him live. [01:09:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:32] Speaker C: And that comes back like the whole thing. And that's. The whole thing is like he's like, why the. Yeah, why is this troll coming after? So it's like, because you killed his dad, took his land. [01:09:43] Speaker B: In the poem, Grendel has no father. All we know, he is a descendant of Cain from the Bible. [01:09:51] Speaker A: Oh, oh, I know Kane. I've seen the amazing Digital Circus. [01:09:59] Speaker C: I've seen the Henry Rollins. I've seen the Henry Rollins classic. He never died. I know. [01:10:04] Speaker B: I mean, we, we know the Undertaker's brother. [01:10:08] Speaker C: Yeah, he's mayor now, [01:10:11] Speaker B: but yeah. So Grendel has no father. In the poem, he's just noted as a descendant of Cain. You know, the, the descendant, the ascendancy, descendancy from the first murderer thing. That's kind of. [01:10:26] Speaker A: He is. [01:10:26] Speaker B: He is evil. Grendel's mother, oddly enough, not explicitly linked to that part of the lineage. Maybe she married into it. Maybe she's a whole different kind of monster. It's unclear. Here's the fun thing, though. This is what I am really, really interested about in Beowulf is Grendel's mother. Because for the first hundred and fifty years or so of serious work on Beowulf, starting in like 1815 to about 1960. Ish. She's barely mentioned in the scholarship. [01:11:04] Speaker A: Wait, what? [01:11:05] Speaker B: She's the whole thing. She's barely. She's a whole thing. She is barely mentioned. She's not even mentioned in Tolkien's extensive footnotes. Dude, like after thought at best, in the scholarship for the first 150 years, Tolkien doesn't touch on her in the Translations that from that period as well. They're also just very unconcerned with her. They just kind of assume she's a monster and that's it. They don't really put any particular spin on anything. It gets very, very interesting the how conspicuous she is by her absence from being talked about. They talk about the dragon a lot. They talk about Grendel a lot. They don't talk about her really at all. [01:11:54] Speaker C: Women can. And then revenge. What the fuck? [01:11:57] Speaker B: And then feminist literary criticism starts becoming a thing. [01:12:01] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. And what we do, what we do, [01:12:06] Speaker B: getting some really interesting work done. Reconsidering the monsters in Beowulf. We get articles arguing what if none of the monsters are really monsters? Literally, what if, what if they're really. What if they're just, you know, you get a. What if they're representational of certain things. You get a grad student who's going to school for Victorian literature and becomes later a Rena, partly on the back of a paper she writes, just because she's writing a paper on a, on Victorian medievalism, writes about Grendel's mother and is like, you know, the monster. The way that the Victorians monsterized women and their anger and their feelings and stuff. Yeah, that's happening here. Yeah, yeah, that's happening. This is, this, that's a thing. And then you've got more, more stuff starts coming out and you got arguments, you know, saying, hey, what if she's not actually a monster in the literal text of the poem either? What if this is just a mother driven by grief and revenge because some [01:13:21] Speaker A: weird guy showed up and ripped her son's arm off? [01:13:25] Speaker B: And then, you know, you get arguments that are like, okay, well, so she's, you know, there's, you know, the queer studies, you know, arguments of all she's, you know, the poem does, you know, explicitly kind of like call her out. Like she's, she's exceeding her role as a woman here. And so she's stepping more into the man's role of doing the revenge, carrying out what a monster. That kind of. Yeah, that kind of transgression of gender boundaries. That's very interesting for queer scholars looking at. And so there's all this stuff now about Grendel's mother and she's taken seriously as a figure. There are books written from her perspective. Some of them are God awful pieces of shit. I, I'm looking at one that, I mean, it was. The copy editing alone is just abysmal and then the actual content sucked. But then I'm also looking. Maria Devonna Headley, who wrote the translation that I wrote, read recently. She previously had written a novel adapting the story of Beowulf from her perspective in modern suburbia. [01:14:38] Speaker C: That's wild. I would love to read that with [01:14:43] Speaker B: her as a, as like a traumatized combat veteran from some war or the other in the Middle east that the US Head done. It's. I love the book. It's really good. It does have moments where I'm just like, I'm going to keep in mind that you are white, Maria. [01:15:02] Speaker C: Yeah. Are you, are you doing the thing of like, oh, I'm so sad about all like the imperialism I did. [01:15:08] Speaker B: I, but, but, but in, in that version, you know, there, there's some gayness as well. [01:15:14] Speaker C: Good, good, good. I think there's a. [01:15:17] Speaker B: We got a little bit of it's doomed faggotry, I'm sorry to say, but it is. We get some faggotry. [01:15:23] Speaker C: Well, that's the only kind they let us have for a long time. [01:15:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:28] Speaker B: So I want to say, like, there's this, you know, long period of, it's kind of, it's kind of dog out there for, for Grendel's mother in the scholarship, in the translations, and she starts to get taken seriously a bit. And then the translations go in and adaptations go kind of weird for a little bit. Seamus Haney at one point just calls her a bitch in the translation. [01:15:57] Speaker C: Cool thing. That's super fucking helpful, Seamus. [01:16:00] Speaker B: He also calls her a tarn hag. [01:16:03] Speaker C: Right. [01:16:04] Speaker A: Oh, my. [01:16:05] Speaker B: Then you get like the 99 and 2007 movies with, you know, Angelina. You get with Layla Roberts, October 1997, Playboy Playmate of the Month and Angelina Jolie, respectively, playing Grendel's mother. Because hot. And we're going to change the entire Beowulf is a very sexless poem. These movies hinge very much on sex with Grendel's mom because she slept with Hrothgar and that's where Grendel came from. [01:16:36] Speaker C: Okay, that I see. I forgot about that part. [01:16:39] Speaker B: And then in the, and then in the animated one, she sleeps with Beowulf and that's where the dragon came from. [01:16:46] Speaker A: Well, I, I, that tracks. I see that. [01:16:48] Speaker B: They even have that whole ass. [01:16:53] Speaker A: What? Hold on. What? [01:16:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, yeah. The dragon is extremely very, it's, it's very. The poems. The, the movie is trying to say something about the sins of the father. [01:17:04] Speaker A: Yeah, but like, because I was gonna just doing it, like, yeah, Beowulves come. Could probably make a dragon. [01:17:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:17:13] Speaker A: No, hold on what the. Oh, Jesus. [01:17:16] Speaker B: I. I want a bad dragon dildo that just is named Beowulf and it makes small dragon come. [01:17:26] Speaker C: They got canceled as so a different indie dildo monster maker. [01:17:32] Speaker A: I didn't know about that. That's so. [01:17:34] Speaker C: Oh, it's unfortunate. I will form you off Mike because I don't want to talk about it on my. [01:17:39] Speaker B: Someone. Other than that I forgot. And I also don't know how bad is real bad. [01:17:48] Speaker A: I do have a magic card once we're wrapping up, if we want some levity. If we want some levity to wrap [01:17:53] Speaker C: up on, please, because, like, I. All right, what. What's the final points that you have? [01:17:58] Speaker B: So the point is. So we get that, but we're back in a period of, okay, let's. No, let's really examine Grendel's mother monst and the relationship to monstrosity. Because even a lot of the feminist criticism early on still kind of defaulted to, well, she's a monster. [01:18:15] Speaker A: Well, yeah, because it's the fucking second wave feminists. I don't fuck with them. [01:18:18] Speaker B: They were, you know, you got some. You got some small up and then it gets really down and weirdly sexualized. And now we're taking her seriously, like, and actually, like, doing some interesting with her. I give you the story of women's wrestling in the United States. [01:18:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, basically. Huh? [01:18:39] Speaker B: Yeah, There you go. Even on a meta scholarly level. [01:18:45] Speaker C: Well, I see. [01:18:46] Speaker B: I absolutely see it. [01:18:47] Speaker C: I see the vision. I love. I think this might be the first episode that I, like, legitimately had to do no work for. For like you asked me, because. But I was literally just here enraptured, going, yes. Okay, what next? [01:19:02] Speaker A: Yeah, why not? [01:19:04] Speaker C: Why not? Yeah, you did all of it. Thank you so much. You have been a wonderful guest. [01:19:09] Speaker B: Like I said I was going to take you girls on a journey. [01:19:12] Speaker C: I've been journeyed. [01:19:14] Speaker A: Speaking of journeys and going there and back again. Check the chat. Check the chat. They called a card hobbit hole. [01:19:22] Speaker B: Halfling cycling. [01:19:24] Speaker A: Yeah, it's got halfling cycling. [01:19:26] Speaker C: I want. I want. See, I wanted to. I want to, like, retire to a hobbit hole. Is. My ultimate goal is to build a hole in a hill and die. Like, and, you know, it's a grave all in one. You can just. All my stuff will already be there. Yeah, all my stuff's already there. You just fucking break this shit up and keep the whole. The hill going. [01:19:54] Speaker A: Know I see it. [01:19:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Add some dirt on top. [01:19:58] Speaker B: So I see the vision. [01:20:00] Speaker C: Yeah, there you go. Boom. Yeah, but yes. Hobbit hole. [01:20:05] Speaker A: I was gonna say. What a fantastic episode. Summer, you got any pluggables that. [01:20:14] Speaker C: Yes. Where can people send you money? [01:20:17] Speaker B: So I am on blue sky at TS Hyphen, [email protected], my cash app and Venmos. I'm poor, I have no job and I am terrified are both St. Ridleys a I N T R I D L E Y. That's cash app, Venmo or PayPal. All those work. I have an only fans and fansly that I do not ever post shit to. [01:20:50] Speaker C: So I don't know. [01:20:52] Speaker B: You. You can. You can. [01:20:54] Speaker C: You want to. [01:20:54] Speaker A: If. [01:20:55] Speaker B: If I post something to them then you'll be able to do that because it's been long enough that I think it still reads as paused. [01:21:05] Speaker A: Give summer money. [01:21:06] Speaker B: Yes. I'd like to still be able. I'd like to keep a roof over my head and my roommate's head and my cat's head and her cat's head and also be able to keep having bugs over to explain how magic works to me because I feel like bugs can actually explain that in a way that I understand and learn from. [01:21:27] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I'm actually a very good teacher when it comes to magic. I kind of know this game very well. It's because I play mill, which is degenerate. [01:21:40] Speaker C: Look, I wouldn't have you any other way. [01:21:42] Speaker B: I'm just a girl who bought some cards because they had furbies on them. And then my roommate said, I built you a commander deck based off the one Furby that can be a commander. It's umbras fear manifest. Have fun. [01:21:57] Speaker A: It's a pretty good commander and this [01:21:59] Speaker B: is where I am. [01:22:00] Speaker C: Oh yeah. Well, that. Thank you for being here. [01:22:03] Speaker B: I like Furbies also. [01:22:05] Speaker C: Thank you for being here. As. As this is where you are Bugs. Is there anything you want to plug slash plug basis that people can send you money? [01:22:13] Speaker A: You can find me over on any of the things where you can be named Bugs Matrix. I am predominantly on Blue sky. Otherwise I'm not entirely sure. Yes, you can. You can send money to my cash app and stuff, but I am very luckily as of literally this week, recently employed. So I. If you have money to help out the transes, I would deeply implore you to send it to the other other lovely trans. [01:22:37] Speaker C: Ah, yes. Like. [01:22:39] Speaker B: Like me and Ella. [01:22:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna say. Speaking of, if you want to send me money, you can find me on blue [email protected] like the Deep Space Nine character and his profession and his Profession tail. He tailors. He tailors. He does things. [01:23:04] Speaker B: How to weave a thread. [01:23:06] Speaker C: He landscapes. Sometimes he books shuttles that make it all the way home. And you can listen to me yap about graps at Wednesday night fake fights with other wonderful people where we talk about dynamite and other stuff there. I produce other show with Kennedy Cooper that's about politics. That's crazy and out there and goofy and wild and send me money and send summer money and maybe send bugs a little bit money. [01:23:41] Speaker A: I mean, I wouldn't. I wouldn't mind, you know, like, you know that. That one aid comic where the dude cuts a check for $10,000 to Oreos to give them a little walking around money. You like our product? You like our product? [01:23:55] Speaker C: You like our product. Speaking of, like, and rate and subscribe or whatever and comment on things on YouTube especially is helpful, but anywhere you're. [01:24:05] Speaker A: Yeah, no, do. Do the engagements. Call to engagement. [01:24:08] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, we got to do that because, like. Because it's actually fucking helps. [01:24:12] Speaker B: I also, great thing, y' all are not a video podcast, because my tick keeps popping out. [01:24:19] Speaker A: I mean, if we ever, you know, fall back on the Facebook trend of 2014 of pivoting to video. Oh, we'll have you back on. We'll have you back on for us to get taken off YouTube. [01:24:29] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And to that, I say I'm sorry for all of you that were not a video podcast. [01:24:34] Speaker B: And I'll just. I'll just say, you know, if we. If we wind up doing that, I'll just have y' all sign some releases for me to be able to throw the podcast with OnlyFans. [01:24:44] Speaker A: No, like, genuinely, I have thought about using only fans for so many weird. Like. [01:24:52] Speaker C: Like anything else. [01:24:54] Speaker A: We're gonna get on a tangent. [01:24:55] Speaker B: We're gonna get on a tangent. [01:24:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna say. I'm pretty sure I'm still on porno. Anyways, thank you all for being here and come back around next time. Where we will be talking about who knows yet? I have a few people talking about craps. Well, we're gonna be talking. We're always talking about grabs. [01:25:14] Speaker B: It's gonna be graps. It's gonna be magic. [01:25:16] Speaker C: Whatever it is gonna be. [01:25:18] Speaker B: It's gonna be both. [01:25:19] Speaker C: It's. [01:25:19] Speaker A: I'll probably crack my voice several times because I think it's funny to go. [01:25:24] Speaker C: Yeah, you. Yeah, you went on adorable. And the mic won't pick it up. And I do it a lot. Yeah. Oh, that was adorable. All right. Thank you all. Happy wrestling. Wait, that's the other one. Yeah, it's good here too. Happy wrestling. [01:25:37] Speaker A: Happy gr. [01:25:37] Speaker C: Happy gr. Hi, this is future Ella, which is also right now Ella and I am here to tell you that I suck at my job because I forgot to credit someone and I forgot to credit them last time as well and I hate that because they deserve all the credit. And it is Socks who has been who is the writer of the theme music to our show. The sex theme from Everything is wrestling and Socks is amazing. Should go to socks edm.bandcamp.com and buy socks music and give Socks money and listen to socks music because honestly, it's been the soundtrack to my summer in a lot of ways. That's a shoot, as they say. I I'm just the biggest Sox fan and you should be too. Here is the outro, which is also the sex name from Everything is wrestling by socks. Socksedf. Bad Scott combined.